While there are times when we are aware of actually being apprehensive and distrusting of love, we are more likely to identify these fears as concern over potentially negative outcomes: However, our fear of intimacy is often triggered by positive emotions even more than negative ones.
I'm sure that you've encountered a woman with a fear of intimacy at some point in your life. She may have been outgoing and confident, shy and troubled, or a little bit of both.
As a therapist, I often hear couples complain that whenever one partner tries to get close, the other pulls away. Many people have developed defenses that make them intolerant of too much love, attention or affection.
This was my excuse for keeping my distance and only maintaining casual relationships with women…. In doing so, I stunted my growth as a man, missed out on amazing women, and always felt sort of alone.
Everybody has something they fear- water, spiders, snakes, heights, etc. We are all human and it is totally normal to develop a phobia.
Have you ever met someone and got along famously, only to have them back off suddenly? Perhaps you reacted by ignoring them when they finally tried to get in touch a few weeks later, and now, ages later, are still wondering what happened.
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